Introduction
This is my humble attempt to write a recipe in software
manual style. The recipe makes store-bought canned
chicken soup -- any brand -- taste almost as good as homemade.
It was one of the first web pages (maybe THE first) that I created
back in '95 when teaching myself to write HTML, although I had written
it earlier.
Note: I hope you enjoy reading this and cooking my soup as
much as I enjoyed writing it. As it's in detailed (but informal)
technical manual style, it may read "funny" as a recipe!
(As a technical writer, I'm used to writing concise,
easy-to-understand steps explaining how to do things -- but they
usually deal with using software, not soup!)
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Ingredients For Almost Homemade
Store-Bought Canned Chicken Soup
Minimum hardware and software requirements for
an instance of almost homemade store-bought canned chicken soup
include the following:
User Interface
Preferred: You will use a spoon to put the finished product inter-your-face.
Acceptable: A straw will work, with substantially degraded performance.
Not Acceptable: Don't eat soup with a fork!
Hardware Minimum Requirements
- A stovetop, with gas, electric, or equivalent processor.
(See Small Appliances.)
- One each, pot and mixing spoon.
- Utensil required for opening soup container.
(See Cook's Tools & Gadgets.)
- A quantity of soup bowls and spoons greater than or equal to the
number of guests plus one (for yourself).
Software Minimum Requirements
- A can or envelope of your favorite canned chicken soup or
broth mix and the appropriate amount of water, per package instructions.
Hint: Use broth (no noodles) rather than soup. The
noodles in canned soup are too mushy.
- Up to half of an 8-ounce bag bag or box of your favorite
uncooked egg noodles or pasta of your choice -- or even the
equivalent amount of frozen wontons from the Chinese grocery store,
if there's one nearby.
Note: How much depends on how noodle-crazy you are.
Me, I like noodles.
Hint: In a pinch, ravioli, tortellini, matzo balls, orzo, or kreplach
may be substituted for wontons. Don't worry! No one will notice the
difference!
- Up to a cup of cut up leftover cooked chicken, from which
you have removed bones and skin. (How to do so is beyond the
scope of this document.) Turkey is OK, too, but then it wouln't be 100% chicken
soup.
Warning: Please remember that turkey, in this
context, means the bird that goes "gobble gobble." Do not use a
politician in this recipe. The result would be tasteless and
unsanitary.
- A few stalks of fresh dill, cut up small, or a few
tablespoons of dried dill weed.
- Whatever leftover cooked vegetables you'd like to add. If
you add scallions or spinach (as in wonton soup), DON'T cook
them in advance!
Optional: If you want it to taste more like wonton
soup, add a small amount (up to half a teaspoon) of oriental
sesame oil, from the gourmet section of the grocery store. (It's
dark brown.) Don't get health-food-type sesame oil. It's pale,
and not the same.
Instructions follow.
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Note: If you want Italian wedding soup, I'm sorry, but
it's beyond the scope of this article. I have two suggestions:
- Go to an Italian wedding and bring a Tupperware container with
you.
- Go to a Mexican restaurant and order some "sopa abondegas sin
sopa" (meatball soup without the soup) and add the tiny meatballs to
this recipe.
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Instructions For Almost Homemade
Store-Bought Canned Chicken Soup
To create an instance of almost homemade store-bought canned
chicken soup, follow these steps:
- In a large pot, cook egg noodles or other pasta per directions,
cutting a few minutes off the cooking time.
(For noodle cooking instructions, please refer to your noodle
package, or call the noodle company's technical support number.)
- Drain (and rinse if necessary) the noodles and return them
to the pot. Make sure the strainer or colander has holes
that are smaller than the noodles. (Which may be tough if
you're cooking orzo.)
- Open the can or envelope of soup with an electric or manual
can opener or scissors or other appropriate sharp
instrument, after reading directions for that implement and
taking all safety precautions.
Warning: Do not run with scissors. You could put an eye out!
- Add the soup concentrate to the cooked noodles in the pot.
- Add the required amount of water, per package or can
instructions. You may want to add up to (estimated) 30% more
water than the recipe calls for, because those noodles will
absorb more moisture. Use your judgement.
- Add chicken, and the vegetables, if any.
Exception: Save the scallions and/or spinach to add later.
Warning: Do not add salt. Canned soup and mixes are usually
already too salty. Pepper or Mrs. Dash, maybe.
- While you wait for the soup to come to a boil, add the dill.
Stir frequently, so the noodles don't stick to the bottom of the
pot and burn.
- Let the soup boil briefly, just long enough to make sure it
is heated thoroughly. Consider the size of the pieces of
meat.
Hint: Now's the time to add the optional scallions and/or
spinach, if desired.
- Serve the soup in large bowls, with soup spoons or
tablespoons.
Hint: Put salt, pepper, and Mrs. Dash on the table,
so diners can individually decide what to add.
- Eat the soup.
- Place the leftovers, if any, in an appropriate container and
refrigerate promptly.
- Relax and browse Today's Deals in Kitchen & Housewares at Amazon.com.
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I'm working on a cookbook.
It'll be announced here when published.
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